Like her, I’m an introvert that has plenty of experience as
a pseudo-extrovert.
My guess would be that most people who know me would be
surprised by my declaration of introversion. I mean, I teach public speaking
for goodness sake.
On further reflection, I think my closest friends would
agree. I’ve always been on the quieter side until I get to know someone. Once I know you, I'll talk your ear off. However, on
more than one occasion I’ve been accused of being a snob because I didn’t talk
much at an event or function.
If we’re not traveling, you’ll probably find me at home. I
enjoy the solitude and time to spend the day as I desire.
This usually includes a lot of reading.
I’m a total book worm. Most nights you’ll find me reading long
after the children are in bed.
In addition to being an introvert, I’m married to one and
our four-year-old son is incredibly introverted and shy. While I’ve learned to
navigate the social order throughout the years, he wants no part of it. At
times this bothers me because I have an idea of what others are thinking. At
other moments it comes as a relief that he wants to stay at home as much as I do.
That’s why I’m so glad I came across Cain’s book because it makes the case for
us introverts.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean we’re hermits or that we shy
away from all social interaction. Just as Cain explains in her book, it does
mean that we enjoy quiet reflection more often than not and that we are more comfortable at home or with
small groups of friends.
The book doesn’t attempt to pit introverts against
extroverts. In fact, Cain’s goal is just the opposite. She explains why introverts
sometimes need the company of the extroverts in their lives and how extroverts
could learn a lot from their quieter counterparts.
I’d like to list some of Cain’s more compelling remarks
about introverts in the hope to peak your interest about this insightful, witty and well-researched book:
“I had always imagined Rosa Parks as a stately woman with a
bold temperament, someone who could easily stand up to a busload of glowering
passengers. But when she died in 2005 at the age of ninety-two, the flood of
obituaries recalled her as soft-spoken, sweet and small in stature. They said
she was “timid and shy” but had “the courage of a lion.” They were full of
phrases like “radical humility” and “quiet fortitude.” What does it mean to be
quiet and have fortitude? these descriptions asked implicitly. How could you be
shy and courageous? Parks herself
seemed aware of this paradox, calling her autobiography ‘Quiet Strength’ – a
title that challenges us to question our assumptions. Why shouldn’t quiet be strong? And what else can quiet do that we don’t
give it credit for?”
“Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women
in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who
they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve
turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must
conform.”
“Just as Tony Robbins’s aggressive upselling is OK with his
fans because spreading helpful ideas is part of being a good person, and just
as HBS (Harvard Business School) expects its students to be talkers because
this is seen as a prerequisite of leadership, so have many evangelicals come to
associate godliness with sociability.”
“I am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem
or teamwork…for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is
imperative that one person do the thinking and the commanding. – Albert
Einstein”
“…I wonder whether students like the young safety officer
would be better off if we appreciated that not everyone aspires to be a leader in the conventional sense of the word – that
some people wish to fit harmoniously into the group, and others to be
independent of it.”
“Warren Buffet, the legendary investor and one of the
wealthiest men in the world, has used exactly the attributes we’ve explored in
this chapter – intellectual persistence, prudent thinking, and the ability to
see and act on warning signs – to make billions of dollars for himself and the
shareholders in his company, Berkshire Hathaway. Buffett is known for thinking
carefully when those around him lose their heads. ‘Success in investing doesn’t
correlate with IQ,’ he has said. ‘Once you have ordinary intelligence, what you
need is the temperament to control the urges that get other people into trouble
in investing.’”
“Your degree of extroversion seems to influence how many
friends you have, in other words, but not how good a friend you are.”
“We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many
different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber,
another a wizard’s education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds
of available power, but to use well the kind you’ve been granted. Introverts
are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to
tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn’t choose to go to Wonderland – but she made of it an adventure that
was fresh and fantastic and very much her own.”
No comments:
Post a Comment