Fatigue

It seems each day as a mom brings obstacles to my path that desire to trip me up and keep me from being the kind of mom I desire to be for my children.

Like words that don't flow well so as to confuse a reader, there are those daily struggles that seek to leave me baffled.

These days, fatigue is this mother’s greatest struggle.

When tired I too easily become frustrated with anyone or everyone around. I’m more likely to lose my temper and yell. I’m more likely to make unreasonable demands. I’m more likely to say something nasty that I must ask for forgiveness for later.

At some point during each day, I feel so tired I wonder how I’m going to make it a minute longer. It's that bone-tired feeling mothers of young children know all too well.

Then the little boy asks a question or needs help with something. The baby girl needs to be fed or picked up or played with.

I continue on, as every other mother in the world does, through the fatigue.

I heard a comment a few weeks ago about how fatigue can often be Satan’s greatest weapon against us mothers.

I believe it.

Self-doubt rears its ugly head in those moments. Negativity abounds.  I grumble and complain about these precious beings that God has entrusted to me.

Fatigue is par for the course at this stage in life.

While often I'm so tired I don’t know what I’m saying or doing a good portion of the day, I also seem unquestionably confident in my decisions regarding life and my children. It’s a wonderfully strange paradox.

We leave tomorrow for our next trip and I’m hoping for some R&R. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I chose St. Augustine.

It dawned on me about two days ago that I had nothing planned for us to do in St. Augustine. I felt guilty until I remembered that’s exactly what we all need.

It’s great to schedule trips like the one we took to South Dakota where you set out to see and do everything. It’s also great to take trips where you can do whatever you feel like, even if that means you sit in a hammock while the children run around or you spread out a blanket and barely have to move for hours because the children are mesmerized by playing in the sand.

I'm sure we'll find a few things to do, but the best part about this trip is that nothing is scheduled.

This tired mother, and father, need time to unwind, relax and enjoy the company of each other and our children without the pressures and demands daily life at home so often requires.