Easter's on its Way

The table is decorated, and the Easter presents are ready to be put into baskets. It all looks good on the surface, yet something doesn't feel right. Once again I am restless.

I know it’s the state of my heart.

I've been in that place where I'm seeking my own way and my own secret desires more than seeking God. This spiritual valley is a recurring theme for me.  I wish I could say otherwise, but this is an uncomfortably familiar place.

I’ve been to communion in the chapel a number of times during this Lenten season. I keep waiting for an intimate moment that is cleverly evading me. I wouldn't call it an emptiness I feel, just a physical distance of my own making.

How can I lead my kids closer to Jesus when I feel so far away from him myself? How can I share the real message of Easter when I have this void?

I know it’s the state of my heart.

Last week I felt drawn to the book of John.  It wasn’t one of those moments where I casually opened my Bible and God dropped the answer into my lap. It was a moment when I felt my heart begin to respond to the words written by the one Jesus loved. 

I am seeking, though not in vain. 

He is speaking to me.

I feel it in my heart.